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Name: Joni
Birthday: 3/11/1901
Gender: Female


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Occupation: Pharmacist
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Saturday, October 10, 2009

Pharmacy Bloopers & Fun Tales: Part 9

Overheard

Some things you don't expect to hear... so here are those snippets of stories from the pharmacy. Some are retold stories by colleagues, others are overheard conversations, and only a few of my own. You could say the Children's Hospital is not as 'fun'; perhaps it's just different fun. :) Enjoy.

Blue - what I say
Orange - what I'm thinking that is left unsaid
Green - what the patient says
Black - narrator or 3rd person

----------------------------

Satellite physician reviewing local patients with Calgary Team:
Doctor: Okay, who's next on the list?
Nurse: It's M. S.
Doctor: Oh yes...the free electron! Not close to either nucleus. We haven't seen her either.
ah...here goes patient name calling...

Doctor: Next patient?
Nurse: that would be S. B.
Doctor: Saw her in july for her annual check up. She's doing well....but Mom needs some lithium.
I can't believe she just said that! (in case you don't know, lithium is used to treat bipolar or mania) But that mother really is a little 'high'....

----------------------------

After a presentation on Fat Metabolism:
Just a question Dr. M, so if there are only a set amount of enzymes that help with fat metabolism, and only a set amount of fat can be absorbed by the body, then if a person eats a lot of fat, then wouldn't the fat pass through and they get steatorrhea (fatty stools)?
No Joni, that's why we have fat people! - more fat is absorbed than needed.
Now I sound dumb....

----------------------------

Chatting in the pharmacy
Technician: Man, we fill so much Viagra here for the kids (primary pulmonary hypertension treatment) at least you don't have to counsel about the use for adults here!
Well, I used to do it quite a bit in community pharmacy. In fact, I used to dispense it to elderly men....like 83 years old men!
Pharmacist: There's nothing wrong with that...some old men can still be quite active...
What about the shuffling kind? The old man could hardly walk! He was shuffling to come to the counter!
Technician: Haha, they don't have to be able to walk, they just have to get IT up...
...errr....In fact, all they have to do is lay there....

----------------------------

Customer at the pick up counter:
Hello, so we have your acyclovir,  have you had this before?
Yes, been on it 2 years. When my wife left...she left me something else too.
Genital herpes I'll bet....

----------------------------

Technician at Intake Counter:
Hello, how can I help you today?
You can either fill my prescription or give me a blow job.
Oh my....

-----------------------------


Thursday, September 24, 2009

Carfuddled

You pay car insurance premiums so that when you are in an accident they advocate for you and should make things easier and stress free.

Not.

Rearended Sept 2 by a VW driven by a single male driver who willingly gave over his DL info, insurance, license plate etc. Called insurance next day to file accident report. Was told an adjustor would call shortly to arrange details including repairs and car rental etc. Simple enough right?

(played phone tag with adjustor till the 9th or so)

Booked a car assessment for the 14th. Went and had pictures of the car taken. Was to expect a phone call of the estimated damages and a booking for repair. Was told that no damages visible from the underside or inside the rear trunk, just surface scratches. So far so good.

(this is where it starts to break down)

Adjustor leaves voice message to say the other driver is denying he did anything, and hence his insurance company will not cooperate.

(played phone tag with the adjustor. Why doesn't he pick up his phone?)

Was advised to file a police report. And also told that the damages were about $750 (for what??? paint???).

Went to file a police report on the 23rd. Constable refused to open a file because the charges were under $1000. Was told it's my insurance company's responsibility to get the money from the other insurance. Was also skeptical of the other driver's claim to deny any responsibility. Afterall, how did I end up with his driver's license, license plate, insurance info, name, cell phone, registration #, car registration # etc? Constable leaves voice message at both the other driver's and my adjustor's phones. (of course, they don't pick up the phone).

Received voice message from adjustor that he spoke with the constable and that it was a dead end for me. What on earth??

(played phone tag with adjustor on the 24th)

Was told constable did speak with the other driver who seems very confused (playing dumb!). Was told we cannot pursue with the other insurance because we weren't able to get a police report, which is what the other insurance wanted. Turns out, there's also no evidence on the other driver's car as he had totalled it 3 days after the incident with mine. (>_<). Adjustor to speak with team leader as he's never seen a situation like this. Was told he might file it as a hit and run, which it is not! (This is all sounding ridiculous to me by this point....)

Called the autobody shop as I did not yet receive a phone call. Tried to book a car appointment. Turns out available openings aren't until Oct 19th, nearly a month away. And I'd like to know what they are needing to do for $750!

Received voice message from adjustor (why doesn't he call me at work like I ask him to?) saying he spoke with team leader who decided to proceed with sending documents to the other insurance for the claim. Will 'see what happens.'

(What do you mean see what happens? Isn't my insurance company supposed to advocate for me, their client? )

SIGH.


Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Constipated Talk

So I somehow agreed to do a talk to pharmacists at an upcoming professional pharmacist's continuing education day in September. Apparently the original speaker had to pull out last minute and I was approached to be a back up speaker. I was given a topic related to my 'specialty' of pediatrics and specifically in the GI department -  constipation!  Hence trying to come up with a catchy title and provide all my powerpoint slides and handouts within a few weeks was a bit of a stretch last week.

I came up with the following titles.... (yes the colors were on purpose too...)

The Ins and Outs of Pediatric Constipation
What's straining in Pediatric Constipation Now
Pediatric Constipation: The Scoop on Poop
Tools for Stool Management: pediatric constipation
Putting the Tool back in Stool Management
Unsticking (or Releasing) the Plug in Pediatric Constipation
 
And I contemplated picking a generic title like 'Overview of Pediatric Constipation,' but that sounded too.....boring. hehe. Why not have a little fun right? So with input from my sister I chose the second one. With 54 slides completed and strong cheek muscles to keep my face straight, I think I will be okay. It's going to be an hour long talk repeated THREE times! If my talk is constipated in the first session, I'm sure by the third things will be smooth sailing...right?
 
In fact, if you don't want to say it out loud, what better way than through a diagram? This Bristol Stool chart is what we give kids to point out what they are experiencing. Like we all know, a picture says a thousand words...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
What did I get myself into?


Wednesday, July 29, 2009

TMJ

TMJ TMJ TMJ. Because of TMJ, I have to quit chewing gum. No caramel (that's okay cuz I didn't really like it that much). No nuts. Nothing crunchy, Nothing horribly chewy. No hard salads. No steak (bummers!) and heaven forbid I gnaw on or crack a lobster leg with my teeth!

TemporoMandibular Joint

I have acute inflammation of my TMJ (now that I think of it, I might have over extended my jaw doing the very thing I shouldn't - cracking a lobster leg with my teeth. Or was it the popcorn? or the hamburger? or the giant sushi roll? or simply a yawn?) Whatever it is, it's now making me realize how hard it is for anybody on a soft food diet to actually find soft food to eat. The only items available in the cafeteria are soup and yoghurt...and maybe the pasta on fridays. Everything else is too hard to bite down on. SIGH. With the hospital's rule of 80 to 20 (80% wholesome foods, and 20% fatty food), even the pizza is made from whole wheat crust, which is lo and behold, too hard for me to bite through and chew. Rice is too hard....Well, at least the soft food restriction is only for 2 weeks. But I am told to still stay away from chewing gum and other chewy crunchy foods.

Sneezing kills.


Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Eastern Getaway

What a relief to leave during Stampede season - and avoid the chatter, the howdy's, the party talk, the numerous flags on every lamp post, the reminders, the questions...

Four Cities

  DSCN4650 DSCN4603 DSCN4581 DSCN4533  

Four Dishes

 DSCN4522 DSCN4597 DSCN4636 DSCN4639



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